Be My Guest (That'll be $17.50!)

Be My Guest (That’ll be $17.50!)

In our oh-so-politically correct world, I’m fascinated how some common words take on new meanings.

For example, recently we were shopping at Nordstrom’s Rack, the discount arm of the major retailer. As we queued to reach the next available cashier, we were subjected to about three minutes of the check-out people yelling “Next guest!” as they were free to attend to the customer at the front of the line.

Guest??? I’m sorry, but I’m not a guest here. I’m a shopper. Can you imagine having guests in your home and charging them for things? “Like that T-bone, Uncle Charlie? Have some. That’ll be $17.50!” I am a customer, and to hear a cashier tell me my time has come to pay by saying “next customer, please” does not offend me. I certainly do not feel better about the entire process if I’m called a guest as you know Nordstrom’s demands their employees say.

Perhaps I’m splitting hairs here because if I am “a guest in a hotel,” I’m certainly paying. I prefer to think I am “staying” at a hotel. Again, no matter how plush the towels are (or how much soap and shampoo I leave with), I’ve never charged a guest in my house to stay overnight or demand $3.00 for a bottle of water that I leave sitting on a counter. In fact, all the munchies and water you want are free when you’re a guest at my house! (No doubt I’d never become the next Conrad Hilton—and I typically don’t leave a light on either as that’s energy wasteful.)

As I do many times when in doubt about verbiage, I consult the dictionary. Yes, I still keep a big, heavy paper-paged one on my bookshelf instead of relying on the online version. According to Webster’s, the “a” definition for guest is “a person entertained in one’s house.” Hoteliers come in next with “a person to whom hospitality is extended” or “a patron of a commercial establishment (as a hotel or restaurant).”

So sorry Nordy’s, Webster’s doesn’t see me as a guest when frequenting the Rack. Frankly, when I saw the bill for my last “stay,” I could have been a guest at a Hilton for the night and walked away with enough to buy a couple of bottles of $3 water.