Driving Me Crazy

Yesterday my son and I made a 45-minute drive to attend a friend’s father’s 84th birthday. It was a beautiful day for a trip in the car—weather-wise, I mean. By the time we pulled into the destination’s driveway, I was reminded (once again) of how glad I am (and should be) that I work from home and do not have to commute to work each day (as I once did 55 minutes each way).

In short, people behind the wheel drive me crazy (pun intended). Share some of my insanity:

Why don’t drivers use their turn signals?—This astounds me. What’s so hard about that? Now I know the answer. Courtesy and consideration are at an all-time low. But frankly, now that drivers are supposed to be hands-free on their cell phones (see next entry), couldn’t they get back to signaling? I know, it means they would have to put down the lattes they’re holding, but c’mon. Not only does it improve safety on the roads, it’s the right thing to do.

Cell phones and driving—It’s the law in California; you need to have a Bluetooth device if you’re talking on your cell phone while driving. Yet still, there is not a time I’m out in that I don’t see a lawbreaker. Honestly, the worst offenders are moms in mommy vans and blue-collar types. I have found another handy-dandy application for my eight-year-old; if my cell phone rings while we’re in the car and I don’t have my Bluetooth on, I toss my phone in the backseat and have him answer it.

Britney Spears is an idiot—I guess I could reconcile my disgust for the fact that she drives around without wearing underwear, but the fact she drove with no seat belt on with her infant son in her lap is inexcusable.

Driving with your dog in your lap—I do not recall in my lifetime seeing so many “pocket pooches.” Now I’m a fan of real dogs, by that I mean ones that weigh at least 45 pounds. Any dog that my cats could maul is a waste of time to me. Plus, many little dogs tend to be nippy and shake uncontrollably because they’re cold all the time. But I digress. Let me get to the point: anyone who drives with their dog in their lap (especially if said canine) is hanging out the window is a flat-out moron. Not only is this dangerous, what if Fee-Fee or Foofy sees something and decides to exit stage left? How would you feel then? If you love your dog so much you can’t go anywhere without it, at least make the dog sit on the seat. So what if it can’t see out. Get a bigger dog if that’s a problem.

Geriatric driving—This is a tough one, but once you reach age 70, you should have to take a driver’s test to prove you are still roadworthy. I know this is a tough call. I recall when my dear grandmother finally had to admit she shouldn’t get behind the wheel anymore. It broke some of her spirit and really made her feel less independent than she really was. But at the very least, senior citizens should be aware that the freeways and highways may be too much for them once they hit the age where they want to drive for the 5:00 Senior Special at the local eatery.

Stay out of the left lane—In the World According to Me (which is the name of this blog), if you’re driving in the “fast” lane, you better be going faster than I am. And if you’re not, get the heck out of the way! I don’t care if it’s a 55 mph zone and you’re doing 56, move over. It’s my choice if I want to drive 70 and risk getting a ticket.

Between the lines—This is simple, when you park your car, there is a reason why those white lines are painted on the ground. You are supposed to park your car between them. I know some people drive vehicles bigger than Rhode Island; that's your problem, not everyone else's. So park at the back of the lot and walk. The exercise will do you good. Or trade in that worthless gas guzzler for something smaller.

That’s all. Hey, I feel a little bit better now, but I didn’t have to drive far today.